вторник, 21 октября 2008 г.

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It doesnapos;t make sense.� I want to be alone.� By myself.� Just me, myself, and I.� For whatever reason.� I prefer to be alone.� I donapos;t want to go out and interact with others.� I want to get my things and be alone.� Except, that I want to be alone with somebody.� Not just anybody.� But somebody special.� Somebody that means the world to me.� There isnapos;t anyone.� Nobody means the world to me.� Not right now.� Probably not anytime soon.� I have no candidates in my mind or my heart.� Just me and the music.� With nobody to sing it to.� Granted most people donapos;t want to hear me sing anyway...but thatapos;s different.

So here I sit, wanting to cut myself off from the world, stop communicating, interacting, etc.� But at the same time, I desire a very specific kind of communication, of interaction.� I want you to want me.� However there currently isnapos;t a name or a face attached to that "you".� I could be your hero.� I donapos;t want to miss a thing.� I think I dreamed you into life.� I would walk 500 miles.� Iapos;ll keep you my dirty little secret.

Here I am.� Happily alone in the middle of a crowd.� But lonely in the quiet of my apartment.� I guess Iapos;m just waiting.� Either for the loneliness to pass or to stop being alone in the crowd.� Nope, still want to be alone in the crowd.� So, I just want the loneliness to go away.� Either because I stopped caring, or because it was chased away.

I want the world to go away and leave me alone for a few days.� I want to be alone.

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